The UltraPasswords.com Jokes Section

Archives: Adult Jokes | Animal Jokes | Bar JokesBlonde Jokes | Bumper StickersComputer JokesDirty Jokes | Ethnic JokesGender JokesHoliday Jokes | Insult Jokes | Lawyer JokesMedical JokesOne Lines | Politics Jokes | Redneck Jokes | Religious Jokes | Yo Mamma

 

Yo Mamma

YO MAMA IS SO STUPID
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon

Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read

Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.

Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.

Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.

Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.

Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.

Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.

Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo mama so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.


YO MAMA IS SO GREASY
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!

Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!

Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her


YO MAMA HAS
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.

Yo mama has 4 eyes and 2 pair of sunglasses.

Yo mama has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it.

Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.

Yo mama has green hair and thinks she's a tree.

Yo mama has one ear and has to take off her hat to hear what you're saying.

Yo mama has 10 fingers--all on the same hand.

Yo mama has a glass eye with a fish in it.

Yo mama has a short leg and walks in circles.

Yo mama has a short arm and can't applaude.

Yo mama has so many freckles she looks like a hamburger!

Yo mama has three fingers and a banjo.

Yo mama has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.

Yo mama has a bald head with a part and sideburns.

Yo mama has a wooden leg with branches.

Yo mama has so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.


YO MAMA IS SO SKINNY
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio

Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.

Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.


YO MAMA'S HEAD SO SMALL
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama head so small she use a tea-bag as a pillow.

Yo mama head so small that she got her ear pierced and died.


YO MAMA IS SO POOR
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.

Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.


YO MAMA IS SO TALL
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so tall she tripped over a rock and hit her head on the moon.

Yo mama so tall she tripped in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.


YO MAMA IS SO BALD
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so bald even a wig wouldn't help!

Yo mama so bald you can see whats on her mind

Yo mama so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.


YO MAMA IS SO HAIRY
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!

Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock.

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture!

Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.


YO MAMA IS SO DARK
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.


YO MAMA IS SO SHORT
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so short she poses for trophies!

Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!

Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.

Yo mama so short she can play handball on the curb.

Yo mama so short she does backflips under the bed.

Yo mama so short she models for trophys.


YO MAMA IS SO NASTY
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so nasty she made speed stick slow down.

Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to the beach.

Yo mama so nasty she made right guard turn left.

Yo mama so nasty the fishery be paying her to leave

Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Yo mama so nasty that pours salt water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.

Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.


YO MAMA'S HEAD SO LARGE
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.

Yo mama head so big it shows up on radar.


YO MAMA'S HOUSE IS SO DIRTY
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!

Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


YO MAMA'S TEETH ARE SO YELLOW
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!

Yo mama teeth are so yellow she spits butter!


YO MAMA'S GLASSES SO THICK
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving.

Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.


YO MAMA'S HAIR IS SO SHORT
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama hair so short when she braided it they looked like stiches.

Yo mama hair so short she curls it with rice.


YO MAMA IS SO FLAT
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a book!

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper!


MISCELLANEOUS YO MAMA JOKES
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!

Yo mama aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!

Yo mama lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.

It took yo mama 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used to the front seat!

Yo mama hips are so big, people set their drinks on them.

Yo mama hair so nappy she has to take Tylenol just to comb it.

Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone.

Yo mama so wrinkled, she has to screw her hat on.

Yo mama twice the man you are.

Yo mama cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.

Yo mama is missing a finger and can't count past nine.

Yo mama arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear.

Yo mama middle name is Rambo.

Yo mama in a wheelchair and says, "You ain't gonna puch me 'round no more."

Yo mama rouchy, the McDonalds she works in doesn't even serve Happy Meals.

Yo mama so stupid was born on Independence Day and can't remember her birthday.

Yo mama mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.

Yo mama gums are so black she spits Yoo-hoo.

Yo mama breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.

I saw your mama at the freak show petting the world's largest turtle.

I saw your mama kicking a can down the street. I asked her what she was doing, and she said "Moving."

Yo mama teeth are so rotten, when she smiles they look like dice.


90210
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.


AROUND THE HOUSE
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so fat, when she sits around the house, she really sits A-R-O-U-N-D the house.


EYELIDS
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your Momma's so fat, when she blinks, her eyelids clap!


HAUNTED HOUSE
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama is so ugly she walked into a huanted house and came out with an application.


KICKING CANS
Sunday 15th April 2007
your momma's so poor when she was kicking a can on a street someone asked her what she was doing she responded"I'm moving my house.


KNOCK KNOCK 2
Sunday 15th April 2007
knock knock: Whos there?
JO.
JO who.
JO momma.


SO CROSS EYED
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's cross-eyed, she threw a rock at the ground and missed!


SO FAT
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so fat, when she wears a red dress, the kids in the neighborhood yell, "Hey, Kool-Aid!"

Yo mamma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, skittles popped out.

Yo mamma's so fat, even God couldn't lift her spirits!

Yo mamma's so fat, she has her own zip code!

Yo mamma's so fat, it takes a train and two buses to get on her good side.

Yo mamma's so fat, when she stepped in the road and I tried to swerve around her, I ran out of gas!

Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV, I missed five minutes of the show!

Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked into a room, someone said, "Woah! Was that a solar eclipse or did Free Willie just walk in?

Yo mamma's so fat, when she walked into a hotel and asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean!

Yo mamma's so fat, she rents shade!

Yo mamma's so fat, she invented the lowrider!

Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped over K-Mart, stumbled over Wal-Mart and landed on Target!

Yo mamma's so fat, when she puts on high heels in the morning, by the afternoon they're flats.

Yo mamma's so fat, her picture weighs ten pounds.

Yo mamma's so fat, she tripped over a rock and fell asleep trying to get up!

Yo mamma's so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it said, "to be continued."

Yo mamma's so fat, when she wears a yellow coat, people run after her yelling "taxi!"

Yo mamma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo mamma's so fat, when she got lost (amazingly) they had to use all 4 sides of the milk carton.


SO POOR
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so poor, she can't afford to go on welfare.

Yo mamma's so poor, she got thrown out of a homeless shelter.

Yo mamma's so poor, she tried to use food stamps on a gumball machine.

Yo mamma's so poor, a burgler broke into her house and left her some money.


SO STUPID
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so stupid, she climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side.

Yo mamma's so stupid, it took her ten minutes to cook Minute Rice.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she stared at a Ford for an hour because it said "Focus."

Yo mamma's so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket for a night and starved to death.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.

Yo mamma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.


STUCK!
Sunday 15th April 2007
yo mamma's so fat that when she jumped up in the air she got stuck!


THE TOILET
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Mamma's so ugly when she passes by, the toilet flushes.


TIC TACS
Sunday 15th April 2007
yo mamma so fat she makes free willy look like a tic tac.


TO BE CONTINUED
Sunday 15th April 2007
Ur Momma So Fat wen she stands on weighing scales it Reads to be continued.


VERY FAT MAMMA!!
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so fat, she's the tallest person in the world.. when she's laying down.


WHALE WATCHING
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma is so big. The people that live near you put up signs "Free Whale Watching!"


YO MAMA IS SO UGLY..
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama is so ugly, her incubator was tinted.

Yo mama is so ugly, puts face in cookie dough to make gorilla cookies.

yo mama is so fat, she mainlines porkchops.

Yo mama is so fat, she sweats BBQ sauce.

Yo mama is so fat, she don't wear Daisey Dukes, she wears Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama is so fat, looks like she has a pack of hot dogs on her neck.

Yo mama is so cross eyed, when she cries, tears go down her back.

Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama is so ugly, she has to wear a steak around her neck to get the dog to play with her.

yo mama is so cross eyed, she looks out the front door and sees the back yard.

Yo mama is so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.


YO MAMA SO FAT 2
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Mama so fat she could sell shade.

Yo Mama so fat when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Yo Mama so fat if she got her shoes shined, she'd have to take his word for it!

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat she's not kidding when she says "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!"

Yo mama's so fat people call her moses, cause every time she steps in water it parts!


YO MAMA SO FAT..
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mama so fat even god couldn't lift her spirit.


YO MAMA SO POOR..
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Mama so poor that all she could afford to exchange at Christmas were glances.

Yo Mama so poor that she couldn't even afford to scratch an itch.

Yo Mama so poor that she ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

Yo Mama so poor that when you asked what was for dinner yo mama put her foot on the table, pointed to her feet, and said "Corn"

Yo Mama so poor that when someone asked where the bathroom was, she replied "Pick a corner... any corner.


YO MAMA SO STUPID
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Mama's so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!

Yo Mama's so stupid she clicked on an Ad Banner!

Yo Mama's so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.

Yo Mama's so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.

Yo Mama's so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.

Yo Mama's so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo Mama's so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.


YO MAMA THE GOURMET
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your mama cooks so bad, your family prays after they eat!


YO MAMMA HA HA
Sunday 15th April 2007
yo mamma so ugly, her dentist treats her by mail-order.


YO MAMMA IS SO DUMB
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your momma is so dumb that she put a free cookie on layaway.


YO MAMMA IS SO OLD
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Momma is so old she was in Jesus yearbook!


YO MAMMA IS SO POOR......
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma is so poor,you stepped on a cigerette in her house and she said,"Who turned off the heat?!"


YO MAMMA IS SO STUPID!
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo momma is so stupid when she went to a 24 hour store she asked what time does it close.


YO MAMMA SO FAT
Sunday 15th April 2007
yo mamma so fat, when somebody told her to haul ass, it took 3 trips.


YO MAMMA SO POOR
Sunday 15th April 2007
yo mamma is so poor she has ticktacks on layway.


YO MAMMA SO STUPID...
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Mamma so stupid, she got locked in a supermarket and starved to death!!!


YO MAMMA...FAT
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Mamma is so fat that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous.


YO MOMA SO FAT...LEMONS
Sunday 15th April 2007
yo moma's so fat when a lemon touches her, she peels.!!!


YO MOMMA IS SO FAT
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your momma is so fat she's not allowed to wear a Malcolm X jacket because they're afraid helicopters might land on her.


YO MOMMA IS SO UGLY
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo momma is so ugly she stuck her face out the window and she got arrested for mooning!


YO MOMMA SO FAT 5
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Momma so fat..

... She was born on the 8th, 9th and 10th of July.

... She walked past me & her shadow broke my foot.

... This morning I had coffee with 2 lumps, her and her mother.

... The curtains have made her a lovely skirt.


YO MOMMA SO UGLY!
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo Momma so ugly, when she stands in front of the mirror the reflection won't look at her!


YO MOMMA UGLY!
Sunday 15th April 2007
You mom is so ugly that when she walked out of a pet store the alarm went off!


YOUR MAMMA 2
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your Mamma is so short.... she could hang-glide on a potato chip.


YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT...
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your momma is so far that when she walks outside with a yellow shirt on everyone yells "Taxi"


YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT....
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your momma is so fat, when she goes swimmin, she leaves a ring around the lake!


YOUR MOMMAS SO POOR
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your Mommmas so poor that when some kid stole her skate board she said "Hey who took the family car?"


FAT MOM
Sunday 15th April 2007


yo mamma so fat not even god can lift her spirit


SO HAIRY
Sunday 15th April 2007


yout mum is so hairy that when she offerd to clean the cages at the zoo people walked past and said "look at that bear over there"


YO MAMMA
Sunday 15th April 2007


yo mamma so fat that when she sits oh a rectangle table she sits next to every body!!!!!!


YO MOMMA SO DUMB
Sunday 15th April 2007


Your momma so dumb she tried to drown a fish


YO MAMA SO FAT
Sunday 15th April 2007


yo mama so fat when she stands on the scales it says stay tuned for the next episode.


FATTY
Sunday 15th April 2007


yo mamma's so fat that every time she turns around, it's her birthday.


YO MA GLASSES
Sunday 15th April 2007


yo mama glasses so big she can she the furture,like cleo.



OLD
Sunday 15th April 2007


Yo mamma's so old , i patted her on the back and her tits fell off.


POOR
Sunday 15th April 2007
Yo mamma's so poor, I stepped on a match at her house and she yelled
"who turned the lights out"





YO MAMA'S GLASSES...
Sunday 15th April 2007
Your mama's glasses are so thick that when she lookes on a map she can see people waving.




DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TITANIC AND YO MAMMA
Thursday 12th April 2007
Do you know what the difference between yo momma and the titanic?

The titanic sunk, yo momma floats.


YO MAMA IS SO UGLY
Sunday 8th April 2007
Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!

Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.


YO MAMA IS SO FAT
Friday 30th March 2007


yo mama is so fat when she gets on the scales it says stay tuned.



SOOOO POOR
Monday 19th March 2007


Yo mamma so poor I saw her kickin a can down the street and I asked her what she be doin and she said shes movin!
LOL!!!


YO MAMA SO OLD...
Wednesday 7th March 2007
Yo Mama so old her social security # is 1.


 

For more jokes, check out our archives: Adult Jokes | Animal Jokes | Bar JokesBlonde Jokes | Bumper StickersComputer JokesDirty Jokes | Ethnic JokesGender JokesHoliday Jokes | Insult Jokes | Lawyer JokesMedical JokesOne Lines | Politics Jokes | Redneck Jokes | Religious Jokes | Yo Mamma

Also, check out our funny Dirty Cartoons sections:
Lusty Laughs, Sexy Toons, Fucking Funny, Crazy Comics.

Back to UltraPasswords.com